Pockets.

I have long been in the habit, when I go out, of eschewing a purse entirely, and instead relying on a Man With Pockets to carry my ID, money, and car keys. (It’s always a man, and it’s not always someone I am dating. The only woman who has ever offered is Z, and that is because she is a gentlewoman and usually a Gentlewoman With Pockets, at that.) If a Man With Pockets is unavailable or is flighty and not to be trusted and will probably leave me somewhere, like many women I'd rather just stick said ID and debit card into my bra. This has led to some interesting contortions, bulges, and pinching sensations, as well as far too many conversations with strangers that begin, “Oh! I’m sorry, I was grabbing my breasts. Hi, I’m Katie!” as I try to alleviate the awkwardness by introducing myself.

I even forgot once while I was in Baltimore overnight that I had stuck everything in my bra, because I had pockets, but I wanted to keep my ID safe from, well, me, since I had lost it earlier that day in the DC area, leaving it in a chain restaurant in a mall in Virginia, where I had only stopped in for an appetizer and to mooch off their free wifi. Fortunately they had found it and gave it back to me, after my host and I took a long detour into Virginia on our way to Baltimore. I panicked completely, thinking I had lost everything AGAIN or at least left it in the hotel room, and in the process of frisking myself, I finally found it all tucked into my bra, on the same side where I always put my ID, etc, and laughed hysterically and then drove off in search of a drink.

I share this here because I was just getting up from the couch, ready to go to bed, when I found that the bracelet I was wearing earlier was no longer on my wrist. I thought I’d probably absentmindedly dropped it into my purse, or stuck it in my jeans pocket. When I went to change into pajamas, I found it! In my bra, same side as where I would have stored my ID. I’m not sure how long it was there, or why I put it there, but from now on when I lose stuff, I am going to check my boobs first.